


Way Back Home

by orphan_account



Series: Kyman Week 2018 [6]
Category: Fallout: New Vegas, South Park
Genre: (due to gunshot wound to the head on Cartman's part), Again, All characters are from South Park, Amnesia, And Kyle is a Legionnaire Spy, Anyways that's enough tags for now, Basically FNV is a nightmarish hellscape, Blood and Gore, But probs not going to update it very often, But they have a history together, But who knows what might happen in the wasteland, Cannibalism, Crucifixion, Everything else is completely made-up storyline wise, Fallout AU, Gonna be a multichap, Gun fights, I haven't played FNV in forever anyways, I'm basically winging it on this fic, I'm not very good at it, Just using it for the setting, Kyle has it in for Cartman, Kyman Week, Like the only thing FNV in this is the setting, M/M, May or may not do smut, Mental Instability, So I hardly remember the canon now lol, They Meet on the Vegas Strip, Though Cartman doesn't remember, Torture, Unhealthy Relationships, Where Cartman is the Courier, Won't follow FNV Canon, You don't have to have played FNV to read this, fusion fic, i hope you enjoy, vengeance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 15:28:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15197765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Long before Colorado fell under the Flag of the Bull, Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski hated each other with an intensity that knew no bounds.Twenty years later, their hatred brings them back together in the Mojave, but at the end of the day, it is love that will bind them forevermore, dooming the Wasteland in one fell swoop.





	Way Back Home

**Author's Note:**

> Day 6: Alternate Universe
> 
> You don't have to know anything about Fallout: New Vegas, or the Fallout Universe in general to read this story. It'd help out a bit, but I'm going my own way with this. 
> 
> But, just to make sure you're not going in completely blind, I will explain the setting in a few brief words. Or at least, the best that I can remember it. I haven't done anything Fallout-wise for years, so I might get some things wrong.
> 
> Basically Fallout is set in an alternate timeline where the transistor was never invented, so instead of technology going towards miniaturization everything became bigger and bulkier, and ran off of nuclear power. Thus, the "Atomic Age" of the 50s never left America, and culture and music remained largely the same (think the Jetsons without food replicators) as the Cold War was prolonged to the late 21st century, where it turned hot. 
> 
> At this point, the nations were running out of resources, so America went to war with China and won, annexing Canada, but China retaliated with nuclear warheads and the world turned into a radioactive hellhole full of mutant creatures straight out of a horror movie. 
> 
> Some people survived in vaults underground, but even those weren't the greatest as the corporation running them, VaultTec, conducted experiments on the people living in there. Some were kinda meh, but others were completely insane and inhumane.
> 
> Fallout New Vegas is set about 200 years later, in 2281, when most of the vaults have been opened and people are running about in the Mojave Wasteland. Some of these people are crazy raiders (think criminal gangs on steroids), some live in various tribes, while other people have relatively organized societies, whether it be a small town or an entire nation. 
> 
> Speaking of nations, the two most powerful factions in FNV are fighting against each other - the New California Republic, a democracy West of the Colorado River, and Caesar's Legion, a dictatorship, which is basically a slaving army, to the East. They're both fighting over the Hoover Dam, as it provides electricity, and the Mojave Wasteland, which is owned by neither of these factions, along with it.
> 
> You don't really need to know anything more than that.
> 
> This chapter is in Kyle's POV.

Kyle Broflovski was not a tribal.

No matter how much Cartman said it, no matter how many insults and derogatory jokes he made at his expense for it, Kyle Broflovski was _not_ a tribal.

His father was a Vault Dweller before he emerged to the surface, his adopted brother came from the frozen Canadian Wastes to the north, and his mother, well, his mother _was_ once a tribal, but that didn't make him one. He was born and raised right here in South Park, and for the entirety of his nine years of life there, he had never been anywhere else. Hell, Kyle didn't even know the _name_ of the tribe his mother had come from, that's how much he wasn't a tribal.

No, Kyle was just your average kid, one that you could find in any settler town, but apparently, Cartman thought otherwise.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here! If it isn't our own ginger Tarzan!"

Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear. Kyle frowned. Already, his morning was off to a horrible start, what with his running late to his job at the local general store, and now Cartman was here to make it infinitely worse. Perfect. Despairing and angry at his ruined day, Kyle snarled, "Fuck off, Cartman! Stop calling me Tarzan!"

The boy in question, in spite of these explicit words, didn't 'fuck off' as Kyle so desperately wished. Instead, his sly, conniving little smile only grew sharper.

"Gee whiz, Kahl, you seem a little red there. What, didn't get your daily dose of jet in?" Cartman snickered. "Or would it be psycho? Or even mentats? I wouldn't presume to know how you get your high, since you tribals just mix and mash your drugs, but whatever it is that you're hooked on, you better stick it in and shoot up fast, you look like you're about ready to break into someone's cap stash just to pay for a bit of blow-"

"Shut the hell up Cartman! I don't do fucking drugs, and I'm not a goddamn tribal!" He clenched his fists and trembled with rage. "I don't have time for your shit today, fatass, I gotta help my dad at the store! If you make me late, so help me God, you will fucking regret it!"

Cartman, not intimidated in the least by Kyle's threat, continued to tease him.

"Wow, you are really sandy today, Kahl. Your mom must've been extra bitchy to you. Don't take it out on me if she hasn't had her daily shot of jet, either. We all know she needs it, hahaha."

He did not. Just push. The bitch button. Oh, that absolute _bastard_. Kyle hated him so, so much right now, that he was willing to pull out all the stops, just to get back at Cartman.

"Don't you call my mom a bitch, Cartman! And you're one to talk about jet, seeing as how your mom whores herself out for chems-"

Just as Kyle predicted, Cartman's playful mood was instantly put down. His face scrunched up, pissed off as he yelled, "Ay! My mom is not a whore, and she's not some chem ho either, you dirty tribal!"

"Stop calling me a tribal! I grew up here same as you-"

Kyle, ready to launch into a full on rant, was suddenly interrupted by a loud shot. A tattered red flag fluttered in the distance, prominently displaying a large, golden bull. One of his neighbors, Mr. Mackey, was startled by the noise. When he turned his head in the direction of the shot, he instantly became as white as a ghost. "It's the Legion! They've come to kill us all, mmkay! Run, everybody run!" The panicking man started bolting as soon as he finished his sentence, but before he could even take one step, another shot flew through the air and splattered his brains all over the ground.

Kyle remembered his blood, and how it stained the white, radioactive snow a dark red.

In that moment, pandemonium was loosed upon the town. Some people did as his neighbor said, and ran for the hills, pushing and shoving and trampling over anybody who got in their way. Others reached for a gun and shot back at the encroaching army marching towards them, but it did nothing to stop the marauding slavers. If anything, it only emboldened the Legionnaires, as they let out a terrifying war cry and intensified their attack.

The redhead was in a trance, paralyzed with fear. He didn't want to believe it, he couldn't believe it, but his eyes just wouldn't look away from the horror of it all.

"...Kahl... Kahl... _Kahl!"_

"W-What...?" Cartman vigorously shook him by his shoulders, screaming over the cacophony of violence around them.

"We have to go! Now!"

Everything rushed to him at once, and Kyle was harshly woken out of his trance. "My dad! Cartman, my dad's in the town! What are we going to do about my dad-"

"Goddamnit, Kahl, my mom's in the town too! They're probably fucking dead-" Gasping, Kyle choked back on the vomit that threatened to come up. "-so if you don't want to end up like them, I suggest that we start booking it!"

Not taking no for an answer, Cartman snatched his wrist, running for dear life as he dragged Kyle behind him. As they went, scenes of unimaginable carnage met them. People all around them were dropping like flies to the swarm of lead whizzing by. Someone would be running right next to him one second, and in the next, they would fall to the snow, and their blood would stain it just as red as Mr. Mackey's did. Soon, all Kyle saw was red, but he still ran.

However, running would become impossible, as one of those bullets landed on his leg. He dropped to the ground and screamed in pain.

"Cartman! Cartman! Help me!"

The brunet stopped, staring at Kyle with confliction shining in his eyes. Kyle reached out to him with a shaking hand, desperately hoping that, just this once, Cartman would do the right thing.

Then, a bullet hurtled their way, and Cartman left him in the cold.

"DAMN YOU CARTMAN! DAMN YOU! WHY WON'T YOU HELP ME!" Kyle cried angry tears as he yelled after Cartman's retreating figure, and his enraged shouts only grew louder and louder as the fatass grew smaller in the distance. "CURSE YOU CARTMAN! YOU FUCKING COWARD! YOU FUCKING TRAITOR! DON'T THINK I WON'T FORGET THIS! I'LL FUCKING FIND YOU FATASS, AND YOU WILL PAY- ack!"

A Legionnaire put an end to Kyle's livid rant with a baseball bat, knocking the nine-year old out with a hard smack to the head.

"Yes... you will make for an excellent soldier."

Vision fading away, Kyle took in the blurry image of Cartman's back.

They wouldn't meet again for another twenty years.

* * *

The spy was not a profligate.

No matter how much the dissolute tried to taint him, no matter how many vile and disgusting temptations they threw his way, the spy was _not_ a profligate.

For twenty long years, this had been forced into his mind. His life before was evil, and needed to be cleansed from his system. Before, he was dirty, but now he was pure. The spy was true to Caesar in his heart of hearts, and his devotion was so strong that he would lay down his life for him. After all, what was he, a lowly pawn, when compared to the Son of Mars himself?

Kyle Broflovski, however?

Kyle hated everything about Caesar, and was as degenerate as they came. He blended in with the revolting profligates perfectly, and so Kyle made for an excellent disguise. It was no bother for the spy to don this mask, for Kyle was long dead. There was no danger of him resurfacing on his reconnaissance mission in New Vegas, so the Legionnaire spy wore the facade without fear, confident that it would never truly come back to life.

That was, until he saw Eric Cartman walking down the strip.

He stood there, slack jawed as the portly man sang along to a tune blaring out of his Pip-Boy.

_"Blue moon, you knew just what I was there for~"_

Kyle knew that voice. He could guess what it was from a mile away.

_"You heard me saying a prayer for, someone I really could care for."_

Instantly, liquid fury flooded his veins, and all that he could see was red.

_"And then there suddenly appeared before me, the only one my arms will hold."_

There he was, singing and humming along and having a gay old time. Cartman had no regrets, no guilt to speak of.

_"I heard somebody whisper please adore me, and when I looked to the moon it turned to gold!"_

Cartman didn't care that he left him to die. He didn't care that he lost his very identity, that he left him to slavery and war and death and everything under the sun.

_"Blue moon-"_

Kyle wanted him to die. Brutally.

"You!"

 _"Now I'm no longer alo_ \- what?" Cartman was acting like he was confused as all hell, but Kyle knew he was faking it. He always did when he wanted to get out of trouble, but it wouldn't work on him this time.

He would get his revenge.

"I told you that I would find you! I told you that you would fucking pay!"

Lifting a gun out from his vest, Kyle pointed it at Cartman's face.

"You have any last words, fatass?"

Infuriatingly, instead of the fear that he always dreamed of catching before Cartman drew his last breath, he only looked mildly annoyed.

"Yeah. I have several. First things first, who the fuck are you?"

**Author's Note:**

> BAM!
> 
> And so ends the first chapter. Sorry if this was running a little late for Day 6, the heat was being a bitch to all of my electronics, so I had to wait until things cooled off lol.
> 
> Here's a link to the song Cartman was singing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6vr0amOKCHo


End file.
